When going to the dietitian for six months prior to my surgery, and the classes beforehand, along with all my personal research, I heard and read that post-op there is a period of emotional upheaval that they compared to the “baby blues” after childbirth.

They were not kidding! It is like I have bought my own personal ticket to Anti-Disneyland: The Unhappiest Place On Earth! Mostly I’ve just been angry, frustrated. I want to scream and yell about the fact that I cannot sleep on my side because it hurts. I like to sleep on my side! I got absolutely enraged about the fact that I am lactose intolerant now and I can’t easily switch to almond milk because they all have cane sugar as the second ingredient. I am not talking about the Vanilla or Dark Chocolate flavored. I am talking about the Original Almond milk has cane sugar as the second ingredient, so I have to look specifically for the Unsweetened. I can’t even buy Coconut milk because that too, has cane sugar as the second ingredient. I can’t have soy either because I’m soy intolerant! It’s frustrating! All I want is some milk-like product to put in my protein shake because the powdered vanilla and chocolate flavor that I have taste worse than the unflavored protein with sugar free Jello that I was chugging down before my surgery!

It’s not just me getting angry either! It goes from angry to teary eyed! I just got weepy a few moments ago because the notion that I cannot have spaghetti crossed my mind. Don’t tell me about the fact I can have whole wheat pasta either! I have tried that stuff and found it not to my liking, and I find spaghetti squash to be repugnant!

I wouldn’t say that it is like the “baby blues” though. I’ve had those after my son was born. But I will say that with the anger and sometimes crying, it’s more like I am mourning my former diet. Which is stupid, because my former diet is what had me up to 294lbs and barely able to finish a two mile walk without hobbling around. So “EFF” my former diet!

Heaviest: 294

Day of Surgery: 271

Today: 266

Total Lost: 28