I went to Walmart again in search of clothes. I swear I am like a goldfish when it comes to that, I swim around the proverbial bowl and I forget my last experience doing just that same thing. This time I was looking for a pair of size twenty jeans. I couldn’t find any that weren’t stretch. So, is that a thing now? Plus sized clothes are required to have a certain amount of spandex included? I got a pair anyway, I searched for a pair and ended up with some Bermuda shorts with the least amount of stretch to them. There was still stretch though so when I put them on and they fit I showed my mother. She said “they fit” and I replied “they’re a lie…” She reminded me that in January I wouldn’t have been able to wear them, stretchy or not. I still think I would have felt a bit more triumph in wearing them if they hadn’t been.
Since the jeans failed to give me the emotional boost I needed, I decided it was time for another before and after photo session. Which helped me a bit to feel good about the choices and sacrifices I have made to get to where I am.
Even with that though, even knowing how far I have come, when I walked into GNC to get some bottles of the ready to drink Isopure Zero Carb because I wanted to have something other than the Body Fortress I still felt uncomfortable. No one was rude to me, they were as helpful as always, it is entirely my own insecurity speaking on this. But there is this store where all they sell are health supplements and it’s a place where people who go to the gym routinely shop and then there’s me, and I mentally put voices in the staff’s brains when I make eye contact as I walk in “dude what is a fat chick doing in here.” Of course, they sound like stereotypical suffer guys when I do that whole thing. Again, no one was rude to me. It’s entirely my own insecurity.
I’m still trying new things in the kitchen, this week it was parmesan roasted cauliflower and mini-meatloaf. I won’t even dignify the parmesan roasted cauliflower with a link to it. I am not sure how they managed to create a recipe that lead to greasy cauliflower but they did and it was horrible. But the mini-meatloaf was pretty good. I just didn’t use the topping on it because it called for brown sugar, ketchup, and mustard. So, here is that: http://myblessedlife.net/2011/08/mini-meatloaf-recipe.html
I’m going to try to post more often than I have been. I have a visit with my surgeon coming up on the 5th and a visit to my dietitian coming up on the 19th.