When I am on the treadmill with my headphones on and I’m listening to music while I’m walking away I always seem to let my mind wander. Most of the time it’s me daydreaming about running the same two miles I’m walking. What takes me so long now would take me, not even half the time, if I was able to run it. I’m not there yet though, but visualizing seems to help keep me motivated so while my body is walking my mind will still be running.
But I had been slacking off on doing my walking for a while, and so on Thursday I am walking and I’m thinking and I realize that I’ve become complacent. I know I am going to lose weight because of the surgery, but that shouldn’t be the only reason why I am losing. I need to make time for myself, it doesn’t matter if I’m dating someone they can wait. The book I am reading will still be there waiting when I am done with my walk, the characters aren’t going to be doing anything exciting without me. Even Pretty Little Liars that I’ve been binge watching on Netflix can wait. It can all, every bit of it, wait. So, that is what it is all going to do.
One thing I have having trouble with is food lately. I made mini-meatloaf again and this time I made it with ground chicken and reduced fat cheddar cheese. It was good, up to a point. I am just so tired of chicken, even eggs. I’m tired of fish too. I think I am just sick and tired of food in general lately. Nothing tastes right because I’m just so tired of it. I’m sure this is just a temporary frustration and I’ll find some other things that I’ll enjoy eating.
With the not walking and the aggravation with everything to do with food I kind of realized that what I was lacking in, was motivation. So, I decided to try on the size 18 jeans that I have. They didn’t fit. They’ve never fit. I have, not once, been able to wear those jeans. In the past when I was trying to lose weight I would actually put those jeans up on my wall for motivation. Don’t get me wrong, I am closer now than I have been to getting those jeans on. I’m just not quite there yet. This time I measured the gap between where the button is and where the hole is and got eleven inches. Curious I looked up size measurements and according to that I should be in a size 22/24 still. Which makes no sense since those jeans were entirely too loose on me. But oh well, I’ll keep losing and sometime soon I’ll be zipping up those jeans. I figure I should try them on every Saturday just to give myself a weekly injection of motivation.
In two weeks I am going to be adding crunches and leg lifts to my routine. I haven’t been doing them yet because I was being cautious about working on my abdominal muscles. But I think perhaps enough time has passed for me to push it a little bit more and work those out now. The only reason why I am waiting the two weeks is because I am going to start a nine day stretch of walking every day because I have my dietitian visit on the 19th and then on the 20th is the Meet the Teacher night at my son’s school so I won’t be walking on those two days.
In other news walking through Albertsons the other day and I see their half aisle is already being stocked with Halloween candy.
I just need to keep my focus on what’s important. That and I have yet to experience Dumping Syndrome and avoidance of ever having to experience that is a good motivator to avoid the candy. Though it is a sign that the long Holiday Season stretch is upon us, three months of sweets, treats, and eats guaranteed to make the butt bigger and not smaller.